Battlefield dispatch from General Whitewash and his brigade of rebel clowns:
Today at 17:00 hours a highly militarised clown battalion laid siege to the BAE Systems stand at the Edinburgh University Careers Fair on Chambers Street. In a bid to disrupt the recruiting efforts of the world’s third largest arms company these brave clowns performed great feats of surrealist mayhem.
Their derring-do extended to other stalls when they were alerted to the presence of such villains as Shell, RBS and Procter & Gamble, all of which futilely attempted to conceal their misdeeds – which range from massive environmental and social degradation (here’s lookin’ at you Shell and RBS) to the routine torturing of animals for cosmetics’ testing (hello Procter & Gamble!) – behind nice and shiny PR smokescreens. Good thing these clowns come fully equipped with bullsh*t detectors!
Back at the BAE stand, company reps were definitely not overheard explaining to students how the company equips F-16 warplanes used by the Israeli army to reduce Palestinian and Lebanese villages to rubble. Like lightening clowns were despatched, heavily armed with sarcasm and fluorescent clothing, to make sure potential graduate employees were fully educated in the glorious history of BAE’s deadly dealings.
Thus, in the same week the government’s Serious Fraud Office has decided to pursue charges against multi-billion-pound BAE Systems for multiple counts of international corruption, the company was hindered, if only temporarily, in its attempts to ensnare graduates by these excitable, conscientious and non-violent rebel clowns.
One clown, identified as General Whitewash, commented “Clowning is the most effective way of getting our message across. It is a parallel response to the plainly ridiculous idea of giving this prodigiously unethical and possibly criminal company a platform to recruit on our campus. Honk, honk.”
